When an Orbital Management AI crashes over the snack-producing world of Fritolaya, the Tallest blindly dispatch a team of the closest soldiers they can find in panic, unable to disengage from the front as news of chaos spread to them. Flung across the galaxy in a small Shuvver called the Armageddon, initially the job seems simple. Pest Control, keep the snacks safe. However, as they meet mighty gladitorial combat creatures such as the Digestor, Squid Demons in the closed corridors of the automated plants, and even gigantic fire-breathing insects, simple job it is not.

What is 'All is Fair in Snacks and War'? Edit

A roleplay conceived February 22nd, 2015 initially by Cravitus, and added on to by other users such as INVADER VEX and YourFavoriteFangirl.

Participating Users Edit

Music Edit

  • N/A

Additional Facts Edit

  • Cravitus forgot to record the original Roleplay Transcript covering everything from start to the initial part of the Space Elevator, and thus had to write an entire summary of the events to that point from memory. Cravitus claims they are not responsible for misspelled names.
  • Canonicity of this RP is unclear at this time.

Story Edition! Edit

Follow this link for the in-progress document hosting the story version!

Roleplay Transcripts and Summaries Edit

Section One, 2-22-2015 (Summary Only) Edit

Blindly assembled on the Shuvver Armageddon, Averii, Menami, Mario, and Xisenin are on their way to an unknown planet at the command of the Almighty Tallest. As they quietly wait, the ship hurtling through space, Zik and Kiziklu comes in through a portal, which Averii calmly chooses to ignore.

Giving brief introductions, Averii learns the names of those he’s with shortly before the Shuvver exits warp and enters orbit around Fritolaya; a prime Irken snack production planet. The Shuvver’s captain suddenly interrupts, bringing their orders and basic briefing from the Tallest as they begin to make landfall.

Essentially, they are told to make sure that the snack factories remain safe until reinforcements arrive, and that if they fail to take the measures necessary to maintain production, they’ll be next in line out the airlock.

As they land in the open cargo/docking bay of a processing plant, however, the Shuvver is attacked by a massive digestor with Ave and BLU left onboard. However, despite Menami’s attempt to rescue them, BLU is able to boost Ave out of the ship before it is thrown into a wall and explodes.

Everyone then attempts to gun down the digestor, but it’s armor and hide are too thick for firearms. Notably, as the fight begins, it pauses to eat a flaming bag of chips thrown by Xisenin, who then tries to get it to eat something and suggests that it be lured off a cliff,despite the fact that they were in a damaged and deserted cargo bay.

As the fight goes on, Menami discards her rifle in favor of her hammer, and Zik and Kiziklu use magic. Ave’s enhanced shock-spear is woefully ineffective against the beast in terms of firing at it, but as Xisenin uses itching powder, Ave and Mario climb on the creature. Mario uses his sword, given to him by Zik after Hatbot replaced his weapons with comics, and slices out both of the creature’s eyes as he clings to it’s horn, slicing and stabbing at it’s head.

As Mario does this, Ave jabs his spear into the throat of the Digestor and fires high-power energy bolts into it, boiling it’s flesh and blood from within. However, they are both thrown off, with Mario even being slammed mid-air into a bunch of crates. However, he was fine due to them being filled with the half-filled back of chips that Fritoflaya sold.

Zik/Kiziklu use high-powered constant beams to melt down the creature’s armor, cooking it’s flesh as Menami stumbles it with her hammer, and it tumbles down. It weakly screams in pain before Ave finally ends it’s suffering by retrieiving his spear from it’s neck- and continuing to stab it repeatedly.

In the lull between battles, as the group recovers and they hear more combat outside, Averii discovers a strange beeping within the throat of the creature, and investigates by plunging his arm into the wound he made and digging around, much to the discomfort of the others.

While he does this, Mario’s father Vok decides to come in, and Menami tends to the antennae of Zik. As Ave finally gets the source of the beeping, the implant he yanks out ceases it’s noise as the sounds of battle fade with a crash, and he stores it in a pocket for later research.

However, as they leave the cargo bay, Ave is yanked into the shadows by a demon squid that had broken through what was left of the defensive perimeter, and despite Menami’s hammer being ineffective and Vok trying to use pencils, after being cut free despite regenerating tentacles, the squid is defeated.

This is achieved by first Vok finally getting a pencil to stick in it’s eye, then Averii impaling it on a wall. Then, Zik and Kizilk summon a train and it gets annihilated. Ave retrieves his shockspear from the wall, Xisenin faints momentarily as squidflesh falls on him, and a Technician wanders in. He tells them that despite his better judgement they are needed in orbit, and collapses in exhaustion, suggesting they take a space elevator instead of the spaceport due to squid infestation.

As they exit the processing plant, the group comes upon the last exhausted vestiges of defense in the courtyard outside. Averii discovers BLU, who had been knocked out of the docking bay by the Digestor, and reactivates him, ordering him to find the best option to reach orbit. As BLU is off, however, the device in Ave’s pocket begins going off again, and gigantic insectoid beetles rise from the center of the courtyard.

The largest is a fire-spewing megabeetle about half the size of the digestor, made much tougher due to it’s natural heat resistance. The megabeetle manages to occupy the group as the smaller creatures move in and loot the center of snacks, with Zik getting burned minorly. The megabeetle begins to fly as it receives heavier injuries, it’s smaller brethren fleeing with their snacks (as well as the screaming and protesting technician from earlier).

Averii leaps at the thing as Xisenin and the others deliver critical damage, and he chokes it out by stabbing his spear into it’s mouth and hanging on, until it crashes down and reopens the formerly-collapsed hole in the ground.

Xisenin retrieves the Technician, and Ave is thrown into a wall, his heart stopping momentarily. However, Averii is revived, and BLU returns too late to assist in the fight. However, BLU completed his scans of the area and has decided that it would be preferable to go to the Space Elevator, which is also closer and seems to be clear of infestation.

However, after walking for half an hour in the quiet among the streets between the monolithic towers, the arrive at the facility to find it without power. Investigating, as they discover a corpse, an alarm is triggered to distract them as an unknown Vortian and associate ambush them in a bid to disarm them. First a crowd of shadowed figures comes in from behind, rifles at the ready, then a liberated Megadoomer stomps it’s way through a wall as Ave and BLU refuse to surrender. Then, as Averii tosses down his spear reluctantly, Zik begins doing magical stuff. Averii picks up his weapon and orders BLU to attack as Xisenin crushes the megadoomer with telekinesis, and the RP stopped for the day.

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